If you're creepy and you know it, clap your hands!
Vol. 26: It is here, oh Dark Ones
Halloween! My favorite holiday, and maybe yours too. The day when you can put on black eyeshadow and lipstick and people think you’re just being fun. “Why yes, that is a “fake” severed leg hanging from my porch. That smell is just realism.”
Well, (rubs hands together)...let's get started trying to scare you. Or just worry you.
Movie Monsters Through the Ages
Tra-la-la, let's skip down the Path of Childhood Terrors and visit the most famous creatures of cinema. I feel certain that something here will trigger trauma, but I'll never know because my readers tend to be completely silent, as if bound and gagged. Blink if you need help.
Anyhoo, here we go.
First, we have the pioneer in cinematic nightmares, Nosferatu, which turned 100 years old this year. The character of Count Orlok, played by German actor Max Schreck, was inspired by Dracula, but miles away when it comes to personality, this guy was the opposite of alluring, sophisticated and wily. He looks like he would smell of old deviled ham.
Dracula. You know him, you love him, even though he'd drain you dry. There are at least 50 versions of Dracula for your viewing pleasure but Bela Lugosi's remains the standard, though Christopher Lee's versions has a legion of fans too.
Frankenstein's Monster is the man for a lot of us. Black decaying mouth, limbs held on with terrible sewing skills, and a head that looks like it was shaped by whacks with a frying pan. It would have cleared up a lot of confusion if The Monster had been given a name of his own, but call him Frankenstein and even the most nit-picky amongst us knows who you're referring to. Boris Karloff went from a jobbing actor to a star by playing Frankenstein's Monster in 1931.
The Bride. She has her own life and her own interests (screeching), and they don't include her intended husband. She's going to take her incredible sense of style and build a fashion empire, but she needs a name of her own. I'm going to pick one out of a hat for her, just something to tide her over until she names herself- oh, dang, I picked Dakota.
The Creature from the Black Lagoon somehow exists. I don't mean to get personal, but what, his human dad did it with a fish and it resulted in pregnancy? Is that what I'm looking at?
The Wolfman is an unhappy fella, what with being cursed and unable to go out for a drink without checking The Weather Channel app. I imagine he has to replace his shredded clothes after each episode, which makes him the most debt-ridden monster of all.
The Blob is even more of a mystery than The Creature. It came from outer space, where apparently they produce so much raspberry gelatin that they need to export it to other planets. Sorry, Blob, if it's between you and Steve McQueen, you've seen your last movie.
Zombies aren't new, they just get an update every 30 years or so, producing gorier and gorier versions. Speaking of updated versions, zombies are the Silly Putty of monsters, fast for some directors, slow for others, eating flesh for some movies and sticking to only brains for others. Pick a lane.
Godzilla underwent some botched cosmetic surgery after his first movie and became the angry, Tokyo-stomping icon we know him as today. But at what cost? Maybe he wouldn't behave like a monster if the cameras weren't pointed at him, waiting to see what he'll do next. Call it Real Housewives Syndrome; when expectations are low, we learn to live down to them.
Freddy Krueger- Horrible sense of style and even worse skin, Freddy started out as an evil human, then morphed into a monster after being burned alive. Somehow his death gave him the power to enter the dreams of teens, something most of us would consider a curse. Yet there was something, well, almost likeable about Freddy. It's the smart-ass quips and bad puns. He's just a nerd who learned to get even.
Pennywise covers a couple of different traumas: he's a clown, which seems to make a lot of people want to curl into a ball. He's a shapeshifter who can take the form of pretty much anything. He's able to read minds and appear out of thin air. Oh, and he will snatch the youngest family member, thereby causing a lifetime of grief.
Why do I think that Pennywise and Freddy are best friends?
Sam from Trick 'r' Treat is by far the cutest little monster, as long as he keeps the burlap sack on his head, because when it comes off, so do your fingers. But really, what's his story? Is he a pumpkin with a human body or a boy with a deformed pumpkin head? Does that head contain brains or seeds and slime? Can we grow our own Sam?
I know, I've missed your favorite monster. Well, I didn't include my own favorite either, the tender-hearted Shadmock from The Monster Club. I'll have to shoehorn him into a future monster conversation.
Candy Corn, Huh! Good God, Y'All!
Depending on how you feel about it, I've either saved the best or worst for this volume of ALH. Candy corn is the most controversial of Halloween candies and I don't know if that's down to its flavor (vanilla and marshmallow), its texture (hard on the outside and creamy inside) or that it's a very old candy that Grandma ate and maybe you hate her. But it clearly has its fans because Americans buy 35 million lbs. Of candy corn per year, which works out to 9 billion individual corns.
It's believed that candy corn was invented in 1888 by George Renninger, an employee of the Wunderlee Candy Company of Philadelphia. Mellowcreme candies in vegetable shapes were already on the market, but candy corn was a big hit because the layered tri-color appearance had never been seen before. The layers were a time-consuming process, with employees having to walk down a line of molds pouring buckets of colored “slurry”, the most disturbing word in food production.
The Goelitz Candy Company, now called Jelly Belly Candy Company, began making their own version of “Chicken Feed” in 1898. Ads in the 1920s declared Goelitz the “King of the Candy Corn Fields”, as this penny candy was sold year round. It wasn't until the 1950's that candy corn producers began advertising heavily around Halloween, linking their product to the holiday by making small pouches of candy corn for trick or treaters.
Today, the largest producer of candy corn is Brach's, originally of Chicago, made in Mexico now. You want to know just what it's made of, don't you?
The recipe for candy corn made by any brand has remained largely the same for over 100 years: corn syrup, sugar, marshmallow cream, vanilla, canuba wax, fondant, food coloring and water. The slurry is poured into cornstarch coated molds, and after setting, they are finished with a confectioner glaze for shine.
And as for the name, at the time candy corn was invented, half of America's workers were farmers or working in agriculture. The name was simply meant to be one of familiarity to the customer.
100 Years of Halloween Costumes
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It's been celebrated in America since the 1840's, but it wasn't until 1921 that the first official citywide recognition and celebration of Halloween occurred in Anoka, Minnesota. The city put on a Halloween parade, handing out candy and popcorn, and had a huge bonfire in the square. It wasn't just out of the goodness of city official's hearts (they don't have them), but to give the local comedians something to do other than pull annoying pranks on the area farmers.
Everyone was welcomed and costumes were encouraged.
We've come a long way, costume-wise, so let's look at what revelers through the decades would likely have worn.
1920s- Costumes were homemade and leaned towards the fantastical. Think fairies, flowers, royalty, harlequins and Ancient Greek costumes made from cheesecloth, needle and thread. There was no Spirit Halloween to run to, but if you had spare cash to pay a seamstress and you knew what you wanted to be back in July, you were golden. If you weren't wealthy, you used what you had at home. Ashes from the fireplace could make a pirate's beard, a dress could be dyed and tulle did wonders. Simple worked.
1930s- Let's start with the fact that the American economy crashed in 1929, so Halloween festivities for much of this decade were for the lucky few. The most popular costumes for boys of this decade were Mickey Mouse and comic book space explorer Buck Rogers. For girls, it was Minnie Mouse, and later, she was joined by Snow White, as costume company Ben Cooper began licensing Walt Disney characters in 1937.
1940s- Again, a tough decade for celebrations as WWII took over the first half of the decade and called for food and fabric rationing. But the most popular costume for women in this decade was the witch, probably because she could just wear all black and carry a broom.
1950s- This is the decade that had people feeling flush with cash, and the Halloween parties of this decade showed it. Trends included Halloween shaped foods, such as jack o' lantern shaped sandwiches, and Halloween-specific ads appeared in magazines. The GIs had recently returned from seeing the world, and costumes reflected that, with men making the Hawaiian shirt a popular costume while women became hula girls.
One of the most popular costumes for boys of this decade was Davy Crockett, which was a highly rated tv show, though cowboys were also enormously popular. Children could choose to go homemade or wear a boxed costume consisting of a flammable tie-on apron representing a character that came with a thin molded plastic mask that had too-small nose and mouth holes. Popular characters were mostly general: a clown, a witch, a ghost.
1960s- Homemade was still the norm, but boxed costumes really took off. Ben Cooper had competition from Halco and Collegeville. Popular costumes for children were comic strip and cartoon characters like Superman, Batman and Spiderman, which makes it seem like there's an echo in 2022. Other popular options were pirates, animals and hobos. Yes, they were hobos with dirty faces and their belongings tied to a stick.
1970s- Marketing towards children happened in a big way in this decade, so popular costumes included Raggedy Ann and Andy, Holly Hobbie, Peanuts, Disney, and Star Wars characters. Edgy adults had a new set of options courtesy of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
1980s- This was the huge wrestling era, so Hulk Hogan and Macho Man were popular costumes. It was also the era of Smurfs and the modern movie monster. Freddy Krueger was popular, and so was Michael Myers. You'd also see lots of Elvira and Boy George costumes.
1990s- Four words: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Or two words: Power Rangers. Now, another two words: Toy Story. Okay, one word: Scream. Throw in the fact that the 90s saw a dramatic rise in the “slutty” category for women's costumes, and you've summed up the 90s pretty well.
2000s- Harry Potter for everyone! There was a HP character that fit anybody and it allowed friends to dress up as a coherent group. Problem was, there'd be so many HP characters at the party you'd have to sift through a dozen Hermiones to find the one you'd lost. Spiderman and Batman were still popular choices, along with The Joker, and Tim Burton's Willy Wonka was big. Little kids had Powerpuff Girls and Spongebob Squarepants. They all wanted to be Spongebob. But this was also the era of the creepy costumes that seemed to sexualize very young girls with too mature outfits. Parents fought back and had costume suppliers removing inappropriate costumes from their inventory.
2010s- For the kids, it was Frozen, Star Wars, Avengers, and the Toy Story characters remained popular. Johnny Depp's version of The Mad Hatter was everywhere. The days of happy clowns are over, unless it's the psychotic smile of Pennywise, and in 2016, every party was a political party as unflattering Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump masks were popular. There's no mistaking that Halloween costumes are leaning heavily into darker themes, with zombies in the style of The Walking Dead shambling around everywhere.
2020s- So far, superheroes and zombiefied everything remain a popular choice across the board for men, women and children. Stranger Things are popular characters, particularly El and Eddie. Chucky and Ted Lasso are expected to be big costumes for 2022, but the number one costume for women and girls is expected to be witches, including the ladies from Hocus Pocus.
The Bedtime Story
Quiet, my children, get snug in your beds
and I'll tell you a tale
about a thing that steals heads.
Just along the Hudson, and through the woods
the lonely village of Sleepy Hollow stood.
The people were Dutch, practical and dour
until the clock struck midnight
known as the witching hour.
But the village didn't fear a witch and her spells
they had The Headless Horseman
who came to them from hell.
He sat tall on his black steed, who snorted red fire
the horse galloped all night
because he never could tire.
The Horseman himself, dressed all in black
was massive and broad-shouldered
and carried a cloth sack.
Man or woman, pauper or lord,
The Horseman lopped off their heads with his hell-forged sword
and he left the bodies there on the ground
but the heads?
The heads never were found.
He drops them in his sack
like Santa with his toys
but The Horseman doesn't care
if you're very good girls and boys.
I'm afraid he's still out there
and I have no advice.
If he picks you, you're dead.
Well, lights out, and good night!
Have an opinion about anything I've done here? Halloween in general? Red wine with fish? Speak up!
And don't think the fun is over after tonight. I'll be back next week with more scary books, movies and maybe a cocktail.