If you're creepy and you know it, clap your hands!
Vol. 9
I wish August would just get the hell out of the way.
Know Your Boo!
In this ongoing series, we'll learn much more about the people who have made it their life's work to make our lives a little creepier. They've touched us all, but not in an icky way.
If you don't know this first guy, you're about to get schooled.
Zacherley
The Cool Ghoul
As far as t.v. horror hosts go, only the much later Elvira was able to match Zacherley in popularity. It was his deadpan delivery of black humor and habit of breaking into the B-movies he hosted to make fun of the plot that set the table for later comedy-horror movie hosts that continues today.
Born John Zacherle in Philadelphia in 1918, he had no intention of being in the horror business. He earned a degree in English Literature, then served in WWII. He had some interest in acting, which led him to join a small Philly theater troupe after he returned from the war, and this led to being cast in a locally produced t.v. series in New York City in 1954. It was a Western, with each cast member playing several characters, and one of Zacherle's was Grimy James, the town undertaker. It was his first television appearance and the first inkling of his talent for being a bit creepy.
In 1957 Zacherle was cast as Roland, pronounced “Ro-lahnd”, the undertaker movie host of Philly station WCAU's Shock Theater. He would introduce their recently purchased cache of horror movies, along with assistant Igor and the never seen though always included wife, My Dear. The act included breaking in during the film for bouts of comedy that were often directed at the bad acting or outlandish dialogue. Shock Theater and Zacherle proved so popular that when WCAU hosted an open house, a chance for fans to meet Zacherle in person, an unexpected 13,000 fans swarmed the station.
This version of the show lasted for just over a year. WCAU was bought by CBS in 1958. Whether Zacherle was offered a contract or not is unknown, but it seems he took the opportunity to return to New York City. He landed at at ABC affiliate, added a Y to his name and starred in Zacherley At Large, playing pretty much the same character as at Shock Theater, including his coffin-bound My Dear in the show, but Igor was replaced by Gasport, a gently moving potato sack tied at the top who would respond to Zacherley's questions by moaning. He signed off at the end of each show with “Goodnight, whatever you are.”
The show was a tremendous hit, leading to Zacherley merchandise such as monster magazines, comics and lapel pins, and led to his friendship with radio and t.v. host Dick Clark. Not only did Zacherley fill in for Clark on some of the American Bandstand tours, Clark backed Zacherley's recording of 1958's Spook Along with Zacherley on Cameo Records, which contained the hit “Dinner with Drac”. It was a novelty pop song that reached #6 on the American charts, pre-dating “The Monster Mash” by two years. Clark persuaded Zacherley to cut two versions, as Clark felt the original's lyrics were too gruesome for airplay.
By 1960 the show had moved production to WOR-TV in Secaucus, NJ, and Zacherley began hosting, in full creepy costume, a dance show called Disco-O-Teen, which featured performances by The Doors and The Lovin' Spoonful. He would also appear in costume to introduce The Grateful Dead when they performed at The Fillmore.
By 1964, he was back in NYC hosting Chiller Theater, but it stopped production a year later.
In the 1980's Zacherle was a semi-regular as a wizard on Captain Kangaroo, though he appeared as Zacherley at Halloween events for many years, and read Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven while backed by The Philadelphia Orchestra one year. He appeared in the horror cult movie Frankenhooker and attended horror conventions while promoting, a comic anthology. He was a disc jockey at a classic rock station and did voice-over work.
His last t.v. appearance was hosting a Chiller Theater special in 2008, at the age of 90 years-old.
John Zacherle died a few days before Halloween of 2016, at 98 years-old. He is remembered by fans who still enjoy his offbeat, dark humored performances, which can be found on Youtube or at multiple Zacherley sites.
Spooky Booky
Fat Vampire
Johnny B. Truant
Sterling & Stone, 2012
Reginald is a morbidly overweight call-center salesman for an exercise equipment company, something that makes him a target for the muscular on-floor salesmen. Their pranks are cruel, making Reginald's life even harder, but now they're turning their attention to the new late-night employee, Maurice, a skinny little Goth. For such a small guy, Maurice doesn't seem fazed by the bigger employees, something that impresses Reginald.
It doesn't take long for Reginald to discover why Maurice is so fearless. Maurice turns Reginald into a vampire, one who is going to remain just as he is, physically, for eternity. This is bad news, since Reginald isn't happy with his appearance, and because Maurice committed a crime by turning Reginald without permission from the council.
This is a sharp, fun read that led to a series of books, and a Syfy Channel series that will begin in October.
Scare Scale: 2
And now, the conclusion of the true story:
The Candy Man Pt. 2
It had rained Halloween night, so Ronald O'Bryan's group had trick-or-treated only two streets, making it a tight investigation for the police, who found that nobody on this route had handed out Pixy Stix. Furthermore, Timothy's mother, Daynene, told the police that contrary to Ronald's version of events, Timothy had not chosen the Pixy Stix as his before bed treat, that Ronald had chosen the Pixy Stix for the boy. In addition, when the tube of candy was opened it was found to be clumpy and wouldn't slide down the tube easily, as it usually would, so Ronald had broken up the clump and given it back to his son.
The other unopened Pixy Stixs were retrieved from five year-old Elizabeth's candy haul, and from the two Bates children. When the parent's of the 10 year-old boy who had been given the fifth Pixy Stix were called and told of the poisoned candy, they frantically searched his Halloween haul but it wasn't there. They found the Pixy Stix clutched in their son's hand as he slept. He'd been unable to open the stapled end before bed.
Police were now digging deeply into Ronald O'Bryan's life. They found that the O'Bryan home was in foreclosure and they were $100,000 in debt. Ronald's car was about to be repossessed and he was also going to lose his job because of an accusation of theft. Looking into Ronald's work history turned up over 20 jobs in the past decade. The police also found that Ronald had taken out at least two insurance policies on each of his children, with the payout from Timothy's death amounting to just around $38,000. Ronald had called the insurance company the day after Timothy's death to start the paperwork.
Ronald O' Bryan was arrested November 5th and charged with one count of capitol murder and four counts of attempted murder. Hi trial began May 5th, 1975.
During the trial, prosecutors had no shortage of people willing to testify about Ronald's recent obsession with cyanide. Multiple co-workers testified that in the weeks prior to Halloween Ronald had steered conversations to the topic of cyanide and how much it might take to kill a human. The investigators had found a chemist who had received a call from Ronald asking that very question and wanting a firm answer. Ronald had gone to a chemical supply store and asked about buying cyanide but had left empty-handed when he was told the smallest amount for purchase was five pounds.
Neighbor Jim Bates testified as to the events of that Halloween night just a few months previous, the thought that O'Bryan had attempted to kill Bates' children no doubt still burning.
Examination of the unopened Pixy Stixs removed from the children showed they had two inches of cyanide poured in from one end and had been stapled shut. Each contained enough poison to kill 2-4 adults. The defense claimed that the poisoned candy was the work of a madman at large, a stranger.
If both the O' Bryan children had died, Ronald would have received $60,000. It must be said here that Daynene always maintained that she was unaware of any policies on the children and there's never been the slightest indication that she was involved. She seems to be a shadowy figure in the telling of these events, but it's possible that she was unaware of her family's financial problems and was certainly not a confidante in Ronald's plans.
On June 3rd, Ronald O'Bryan, nicknamed “The Candy Man” by the press during the trial, was found guilty of murder and the four attempted murders. The jury took less than an hour to reach their verdict. He was sentenced to death by electrocution and placed on death row to wait. His days in the Huntsville, Texas unit were hard as O'Bryan, a child murderer, experienced the hatred of the other prisoners. They created a signed petition asking for permission to celebrate on the day O'Bryan would finally be executed. Friendless, O'Bryan put on a significant amount of weight during the ten years he sat on death row. Daynene had divorced him after his conviction, and had remarried. Her new husband adopted Elizabeth.
Ronald finally ran out of appeals and stays. He was executed by lethal injection on March 31, 1984.
Both father and son are buried in Texas Forest Lawn cemeteries, but in different cities.