If you're creepy and you know it, clap your hands!
Vol 13. Number 13? Well, guess we're all gonna die.
It's a shame, we've grown so close...
Overlooked Halloween Viewing
We all know the big productions that make big money, the Zombielands, the Stranger Things. For the most part, they've succeeded because they're really well done, but maybe they get lots of help by having big money backing them with promotional merch and tv ads. Getting the word out takes bank. And sometimes good projects have the backing but still get no love for whatever reason.
So let me draw your attention to a few small-budget or little-promoted movies and tv shows that didn't find a big audience. There are even a few on this list that are currently in production.
Death Comes to Town- A 2010 series created by The Kids in the Hall, this is a comedy/crime/horror with just eight glorious episodes. Death (Mark McKinney in a leather pouch and riding a bike) arrives in a small town full of secrets and the mayor is the first victim, making everyone a suspect.
The Similars- This 2015 black & white Mexican film is one trippy horror movie. Set in 1968, eight characters trapped in a remote bus station during a storm begin experiencing a strange phenomenon. Subtitled.
Scream Queens- A Ryan Murphy/Brad Falchuk series that had two seasons on Fox between 2015-2017. A wickedly fun show, it had a great cast: Jamie Lee Curtis, Abigail Breslin, Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Niecy Nash, John Stamos, Taylor Lautner, Nasim Pedrad...really, a huge cast. It's the story of a string of murders taking place at a university full of quirky staff and students.
He Never Died- Henry Rollins (which is enough all on its own) plays Jack, a loner with severe depression. This 2015 film starts out as a drama that morphs into a supernatural horror/crime story.
Creeped Out- This Netflix series is a collaboration of multiple production companies, so one episode will feature an American cast, the next will be British or Australian. It's billed as a children's series and each episode does have child actors in the central roles, but you're missing out if you think this show, hosted by The Curious, can't creep you out. Two seasons and a third is coming. If you only see one episode, make it “Cat Food”.
In the Tall Grass- another Netflix production, this 2019 movie is an adaption of a Stephen and Joe King story by the same name. Starring Patrick Wilson, it's the story of a brother and sister who are lured into a remote field by cries for help. Isolation, being lost, rustling in tall grass that can hide anything, there are so many quietly creepy aspects.
Two Sentence Horror Stories- This CW series starts each episode with a single sentence that just gives a hint at the story that will unfold. It's a fresh and unusual take on the horror genre, and while not all of them are fantastic, when they get it right it's unforgettable. Look for episodes “Patel Motel Cartel”, “Crush”, “Fix”, “Instinct” and “Quota”.
Dead Set- a 2008 British zombie series written by Charlie Brooker, who went on to work on Black Mirror. As the zombie virus breaks out over the U.K., a group of reality stars filming a Big Brother-type show are the last to realize anything is wrong other than the producers aren't checking in as usual.
Suck- The story of an unsuccessful club band on the verge of breaking up until the bassist is turned into a vampire. Suddenly they're drawing crowds to their shows. This 2009 Canadian comedy stars Jessica Pare, Rob Stefaniuk, Dave Foley, Malcolm McDowell, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, and an unexpectedly awesome performance from Moby as a sexist metal singer. I've been banging on about how fun this movie is for years and I won't stop now.
Evil Things- Did you enjoy the “My Roanoke Nightmare” season of American Horror Story? With the “real” person describing terrifying things that happened to them while a better-looking actor version of them did all the screaming? That's exactly what this Travel Channel show is, two sets of actors, one supposedly telling a true paranormal occurrence while the other actor takes the viewer through the haunted house, or haunted church or haunted graveyard...everything is haunted on this show and it's great. Very creepy little stories of about twenty minutes each. My tv guide lists the show as Evil Things, but the actual show bumpers say it's “Haunted Things”.
Sweet Home- Available on Netflix, this series is a Korean house of horrors. A large apartment building of terrified dwellers has to contend with a sudden Apocalypse of all kinds of killer creatures out for human flesh. The CGI is pretty incredible.
Come To Daddy- A Prime 2019 dark comedy starring Elijah Wood as a naïve young man who is invited to stay at the beach house of the father he hasn't seen in decades. Co-star Stephen McHattie as the father no one wants to find, and the cast features a spot-on Lemmy impersonator. Some surprising gore.
Bloodsucking Bastards- Starring Fran Kranz, this 2015 indie looks like it was made with a bare bones budget, taking place almost entirely in an office, yet it's a fun horror-comedy with an excellent cast. The story of a corporation that brings in a new boss, who happens to be an evil vampire, as bosses tend to be. Also stars Pedro Pascal and Joel Murray.
Some Guy Who Kills People- I couldn't leave this one off the list. Kevin Corrigan stars in this 2012 dark comedy as a guy who's returned home after a stint in a mental hospital. His intention is to just get on with his life, but the guys who bullied him in school can't let that happen. Also stars Barry Bostwick, Lucy Davis and Karen Black. I said, Karen Black!
Zombies
I have a few questions
and I may sound like a jerk,
but how can someone be decayed
yet still have eyes that work?
And how about those feats of strength
without any muscle or fat
a zombie can tear a man apart
now explain to me how they do that.
Their fingers claw through living flesh
like their bones are made of steel pegs
but their own skulls break so easily
like cracking open eggs.
How do their brains work well enough
to tell their legs to chase
yet memories of things, like washing the car?
Those seem to be erased.
And here's my biggest question of all
would corpses really turn into cannibals?
Aside from the science
people are tricky to catch
so why don't zombies attack
a nice vegetable patch?
Spooky Booky
Welcome to Night Vale
by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor
Harper Perennial, 2015
In the isolated desert town of Night Vale, nineteen year-old Jackie has always been nineteen. She chooses to stay at this age and no amount of argument can make her get older. She owns a pawnshop where she pays eleven dollars for nearly everything brought to her, including tears.
Diane is the single mother to teen shapeshifter Josh. She works in an office that performs vague, unclear business, but she notices that she's the only person who remembers a former co-worker named Evan, though the memory of him is fading quickly. More importantly, she's shocked to suddenly see that Josh's father is back in town and working every job he can find. He's everywhere she goes.
Creeping into both Jackie and Diane's lives is an unease with a man in a tan jacket who's been skittering all over Night Vale passing out pieces of paper. He stuck one in Jackie's hand and she can't dislodge it. The two women really dislike each other, but when Josh finds a way to escape Night Vale they work together to find him.
Surreal, funny, and with strong doses of sci-fi and horror. In Night Vale, a visit to the public library usually ends in death.
Scare Scale: 2.5 Because what the hell is with the guy in the jacket?!
The Candy Chronicles
Charms Blow Pops are still a popular candy at Halloween because they combine a boiled fruity shell coating around a long-lasting bubblegum, making for one super-sugary candy. They were created in 1973 by Thomas Tidwell, who filed a patent in 1966 for the method of getting a candy shell around the soft gum center. He went into business with his discovery but held out for just a few years before selling to the Reid family, owners of Charms Candy Company, which was founded in 1912. They gave it the Blow Pop name and invested in an ad campaign, making it a big seller in the late 70's and 80's, then sold the candy to Tootsie Roll Industries in 1988. So Blow Pops are now made by the same company that makes Tootsie Pops. Okay, turns out there are some boring candy stories.
Bits & Pieces
Party City is releasing a series of Halloween animatronics this year, ones that rival Spirit Halloween's in quality, though PC's lean towards higher prices.
Have a look at the whole series here:
How often do you see a zombie raccoon?
Speaking of Spirit, their feature film, Spirit Halloween: The Movie, will be released in time for the holiday. Stars Christopher Lloyd as a wealthy local who disappeared decades ago, and Hallmark Queen Rachael Leigh Cook.
Here's the trailer, looks like fun:
The Winchesters, the prequel to Supernatural about the early lives of John and Mary Winchester, begins on CW October 11th. Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester) will narrate.