If you're creepy and you know it, clap your hands!
Vol 30: I wonder about you. I really do.
Toxic Beauty: The Common Flowers That Can Kill
If you're reading this while snow falls outside, you might be wondering why I'm doing a piece about flowers, deadly or otherwise. Well, this is growing season for much of the country, when the brutal heat subsides and we can spend time outside without bursting into flames.
Even if you haven't planted a garden yourself, you may live in a complex that has one, or your neighbors do. Unless you live in Antarctica, you can probably see a garden within a few minutes walk. We're going to look at common flowering plants found in North America that have become ubiquitous. You probably walk right by these flowers planted in your neighbor's yard, never knowing that the sneaky little things could end your life, or at least make you pray at the porcelain throne all night.
There are things to consider when discussing toxicity in plants, such as, was the plant ingested or merely touched, how much was ingested, and is the person or pet allergic to that plant.
If you haven't guessed by now, I'm not a doctor, toxicologist, nor a botanist. This article is intended to inform and/or entertain. Don't use it to finally act out that fantasy of murdering your spouse. I swear I'll testify against you.
Rhododendrons (rhododendron)- These flashy blooms are grown as both shrubs and trees, the large, fragile blooms appearing in an array of colors, the most common being pink and fuchsia. If ingested, it will cause heart flutters, difficulty breathing, vertigo, convulsions, paralysis and death.
Milkweed (asclepias)- Also known as “butterfly bush” because the small blooms draw pollinators the way I'm drawn to an after-Halloween candy sale. I have milkweed in my yard, as many gardeners do. Every part of the plant is toxic to humans. Depending on how much is eaten, results vary from diarrhea to death.
Iris- So beautiful, so deadly. Every part of this plant, which includes many varieties, is toxic. The most dangerous part are the underground stems that look like the short roots of a green onion. Symptoms can be as mild as a skin rash to stomach pain, vomiting and diarrhea. It's more likely to result in death in animals than humans.
Lily of the Valley (convallaria majalis)- This white, bell-shaped flower has a strong association with Easter and you may meet Jesus if you eat it. Toxins are in the berries, leaves and roots. Ingesting will lead to an irregular heartbeat that turns to heart paralysis.
Bleeding Heart (dicentra formosa)- A native of China that is now easily found in commercial nurseries in North America. The pretty trail of open heart-shaped blooms along the branches will lead to respiratory paralysis and death if ingested in large amounts.
Buttercup (ranunculaceae)- Coming from a large family of plants, all of which have toxic qualities, the buttercup is perhaps the most common. Only the fresh flowers are dangerous, causing both choking and vomiting, a deadly combo. The dried buttercup loses its toxicity.
Columbine (aquilegia)- A member of the buttercup family, Columbine is by far the showier flower, with multi-colored layers of petals. The sweet flowers have been consumed in small quantities by Native Americans, but the seeds and roots are highly toxic. They cause severe diarrhea and heart palpitations.
Oleander (nerium oleander)- Used heavily in landscaping in warmer climates of the US, this hardy hedge plant is toxic even without ingestion. With enough bare-skinned handling, especially in contact with the sap, the result is poisoning due to a compound of toxins, the main one being oleandrin. Even the bark contains a toxin similar to strychnine. Don't smell the flowers or smoke fumes from burning oleander. Wear protective gear when trimming it.
Ingesting this plant will result in a burning mouth and throat, vomiting, diarrhea, and a slow heartbeat. Death is rare due to the extremely bitter taste, though two toddlers in California died from eating oleander in 2000.
And here's one that got an undeserved bad rap:
Poinsettia (euphorbia pulcherrima)- Safe for most people and pets despite an urban myth about its toxicity that began over 100 years ago, which was given credibility in a 1944 book titled Poisonous Plants of Hawaii (the poinsettia is a native of Mexico and Central America). The author later admitted to including the plant based on hearsay, but the damage was done and a newsletter put out by the US Food and Drug Administration in 1970 repeated the claim of the poinsettia's supposed toxicity.
Between 1985 to 1992, the Center for Poison Control in the US fielded 20,000 poinsettia-related calls without a single fatality. If someone really went to town on a Christmas display of poinsettias, eating both flowers and leaves, they would likely experience vomiting and diarrhea, while a pet would experience excessive drooling and vomiting, though only in rare cases would medical attention be required.
Now Let's Eat
Strudel is delicious but time-consuming to make, so we just don't. Well, if you've ever visited Zabar's in NYC, you will see a very different type of strudel, one that will make you rethink what a strudel is. Instead of layers of dough that have to be kneaded and stretched, think of a baton, like the long, slender loaf of bread. Zabar's strudel was the inspiration for how I make strudel at home, and it just couldn't be easier. I've made maple versions, chocolate cream cheese, apple cinnamon, and here's the flavor combo that has gained momentum this Fall, apple pumpkin.
Apple Pumpkin Strudel
1 ready made 9” pie crust
1 c pumpkin puree
1 medium apple, peeled, cored & diced. I like a Honeycrisp or Sweet Tango because they hold their shape.
½ c brown sugar, plus 1 tbs
1 tbs maple syrup
½ tbs butter
2 tsp cinnamon,
1 beaten egg white
Preheat oven to 420 degrees.
In a small saucepan, combine diced apple, ½ c brown sugar and butter. Cook over med heat until apple is just softened, not mushy, 4-5 minutes. Turn heat to low and add the pumpkin, syrup and 1 tsp cinnamon. Stir and cook two minutes. Do not allow the mixture to bubble.
Cover a baking sheet in parchment paper and unroll the pie crust. Spread the pumpkin mixture evenly over the pie crust, leaving ½ inch around the edges uncovered. Roll the crust length-wise to look like a baton, tucking in the ends. Dampen your fingers and sealed the edges. Place the strudel seam side down.
Brush the top with some beaten egg white, then sprinkle with the remaining brown sugar and cinnamon.
Bake until crust is lightly golden, 20-23 minutes.
Serve with powdered sugar, whipped cream or ice cream.
Spooky Booky
Supernatural: Nevermore
by Keith R.A. DeCandido
HarperCollins, 2007
The first of the tie-in novels to the Supernatural tv series, and a great start to the book series that ended up running to a total of seventeen volumes. The novels are all original stories, not novelizations of tv episodes.
In this, Sam and Dean head to the Bronx, called by a musician who is experiencing a haunting by a woman in a Queensryche t-shirt every weekend when he returns from his regular gig.
They also investigate multiple murders that seem to be inspired by Edgar Allan Poe stories.
If you've watched a few episodes of the Supernatural show, you'll notice how well the author was able to capture the voices of Sam and Dean. DeCandido has specialized in writing tie-in books for many popular tv shows and movies, including Doctor Who, Star Trek and X-Men, and while the Supernatural volumes switched between several authors, the ones written by DeCandido are the best.
Scare Scale: 2
Get Creepy at Alice's Haunted Little Bookshop
Don't know about you, but when I travel, I always seek out an independent bookstore. They carry local travel guides and authors, and I always take pictures of bookstore interiors.
Alice's Little Haunted Bookshop opened in April of this year, calling itself “A home for special, strange and forgotten books...” You won't find the mass-market best sellers here, (what I call “airport books”) but you'll find plenty of chilling reads.
Looking like a witch's house on the outside, step in and admire the black walls and book-lined shelves of a Victorian library. A life-sized Poe stands next to a table of curated books while the portraits on the wall come to life. You'll find Victorian newspapers for purchase, and a Coraline plush doll for the child you want to introduce to Gaiman. It's never too soon.
Visit Alice's Little Haunted Bookshop:
Old Mistick Village, 27 Coogan Blvd
Mystic, CT, 860 980-6031
alicebookshop.com
My Theories About You!
In this era of everyone giving their opinion all the time, about every subject, I have collected the rarest of people: dozens and dozens of readers who are as silent as the grave. If it weren't for the subscribers (ALH subscribers are extremely intelligent, good-looking and quirky in an endearing way) and the stats chart, I'd believe I was alone on a mountaintop, yodeling to the goats. I have to commend my readers for the strength they exhibit on a weekly basis as I tease, threaten and cajole them to leave a comment or just click on an itty-bitty heart as an offer of support, and they whisper to themselves, noooo... pretend I'm not here.
Which has me wondering about the type of person reading ALH but shunning the slightest engagement. Here's what I've come up with:
1. You are in Witness Protection and have been ordered to leave no electronic footprint until after the trial, especially on a site that features true crime.
Fact: You're probably sketchy anyway, what's a little comment here gonna hurt?
2. You read ALH on a borrowed computer or phone and the owner already calls you “weirdo”, making you nervous about giving them more proof.
Fact: What's wrong with being a weirdo? Hit “like”,weirdo.
3. All your fingers are broken and you're scrolling with your nose, which makes it difficult to tap a little heart and impossible to comment.
Fact: Get yourself one of those little mouth sticks and do it.
4. You believe that any response will allow me to curse you over the internet and take your soul.
Fact: Incorrect. Responding to my posts will only give me access to your bank account. Go ahead and tell me how much you admire my work anyway.